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Yes, I am in a rut, and I am not sure why.

I recently read a blog post entitled ‘Do you ever get stuck in a rut?’ and I realised that yes, I do get stuck in a rut, and I am currently in one. I graduated from University approximately 3 months ago but haven’t actually been at University or had any University responsibilities for more like 5 months. For a while, I busied myself with relaxing and basking in the fact that I had a degree and could now, quite legitimately, sign my emails Rachael Bsc.

It was lovely during the summer holidays (I still haven’t quite acknowledged that I no longer have prescribed summer holidays and instead it’s merely referred to as summer), my Dad and Sister had the time of work and school, and so I had company and transport. Inevitably, summer ended, and my company and transport disappeared back to the 9-5 of education or the ‘adult world’. Now was the time to start using the four days of the week as I was home alone to be productive. It worked for a while. I enjoyed having the house to myself; listening to music and singing along in my enthusiastic but completely tone-deaf way. I downloaded job-hunting apps, googled volunteering opportunities re-started volunteering with Relate, and was officially elected as a trustee member. I vowed to blog every week and try to really commit to this corner of the internet.

After a while, I felt myself slowing down.

I wasn’t necessarily feeling less motivated, or at least not consciously so, but it was happening. I’d get to the end of the day thinking that I’d had a relatively productive day only to discover that, realistically, I’d only considered writing a blog post or applying for that job I’d found three days previous. Maybe I had sent an email and written half a page of notes but the only real productivity was the way I was flying through seasons of Netflix. Amidst this, I had a job interview. I wasn’t successful however a couple of weeks ago I got an email saying that they had been impressed with my interview and would like to hire me on a zero-hours contract, not the role I had originally applied for: an apprenticeship, but as a Library Assistant (!). I am very excited. I have a projected start date and I cannot wait. I understand the conversations around zero-hour contracts but as a first job, I have a feeling that this could be really perfect and an amazing starting point in a career in books.

I am incredibly excited and I find myself occasionally uttering ‘I have a job!’ It feels as though I am finally growing up. I still don’t drive or feel 100% confident using public transport so rely very heavily on my parents for outings, I still live at home, and I know I am not, in some ways as mature or independent as the majority of my age group but I have just joined a pension scheme. But, I feel as though I am now just waiting for my start date and this sense of apathy is clearly reflected in my blogging; or lack thereof it. I have had ideas, but none of these were paired with enough motivation to remain past the turning on of my laptop. It is slowly coming back, and I am hoping to get working on a few new post ideas, which repeatedly come back to me, in the next few weeks.

Have you ever been in a rut, blogging or otherwise? How did you beat it? Let me know in the comments 🙂

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Yes, I am in a rut, and I am not sure why. Leave a comment

  1. Oh yeah, I always get tied down when it comes to blogging. I run out of blog topics. I don’t have time (I actually do.) I don’t know what to say. On and on and one week then two, then three and sure enough four or five may go by.

    What I do to move myself forward is to talk to other bloggers. It works well for me. In other words, I lurk up and down the blog posts and respond to those blogs that definitely relate to my own interests or blogs that grab my attention for whatever reason. So the back and forth commenting keeps me connected until I FINALLY get my act together and post a blog!

    I’m not sure if I congratulated you on the degree, if not…way to go! And now you’re out there…with a pension scheme! That’s good! In forty years you’ll be very very glad you did that. So, keep at it Rachel, and I look forward to your next post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for this comment! Isn’t that exactly it, the passage of time and the fact that the longer you don’t meet the ‘routine’ (used in the loosest sense of the word) the easier it is to miss in the future.
      That sounds like a brilliant idea. It’s by stumbling across another Bloggers post about being in a rut that made me write this one – ‘stop overthinking it Rachael and just put something out there – start the ball rolling again!’ – And I am happy that I did. I need to get much better at reading other blogs and being active within the community. I very rarely comment, and I’m not sure why; it’s certainly not because I think they don’t deserve it!
      Thank you very very much!

      Liked by 1 person

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