Yes, I am in a rut, and I am not sure why.

I recently read a blog post entitled ‘Do you ever get stuck in a rut?’ and I realised that yes, I do get stuck in a rut, and I am currently in one. I graduated from University approximately 3 months ago but haven’t actually been at University or had any University responsibilities for more like 5 months. For a while, I busied myself with relaxing and basking in the fact that I had a degree and could now, quite legitimately, sign my emails Rachael Bsc.

It was lovely during the summer holidays (I still haven’t quite acknowledged that I no longer have prescribed summer holidays and instead it’s merely referred to as summer), my Dad and Sister had the time of work and school, and so I had company and transport. Inevitably, summer ended, and my company and transport disappeared back to the 9-5 of education or the ‘adult world’. Now was the time to start using the four days of the week as I was home alone to be productive. It worked for a while. I enjoyed having the house to myself; listening to music and singing along in my enthusiastic but completely tone-deaf way. I downloaded job-hunting apps, googled volunteering opportunities re-started volunteering with Relate, and was officially elected as a trustee member. I vowed to blog every week and try to really commit to this corner of the internet.

After a while, I felt myself slowing down.

I wasn’t necessarily feeling less motivated, or at least not consciously so, but it was happening. I’d get to the end of the day thinking that I’d had a relatively productive day only to discover that, realistically, I’d only considered writing a blog post or applying for that job I’d found three days previous. Maybe I had sent an email and written half a page of notes but the only real productivity was the way I was flying through seasons of Netflix. Amidst this, I had a job interview. I wasn’t successful however a couple of weeks ago I got an email saying that they had been impressed with my interview and would like to hire me on a zero-hours contract, not the role I had originally applied for: an apprenticeship, but as a Library Assistant (!). I am very excited. I have a projected start date and I cannot wait. I understand the conversations around zero-hour contracts but as a first job, I have a feeling that this could be really perfect and an amazing starting point in a career in books.

I am incredibly excited and I find myself occasionally uttering ‘I have a job!’ It feels as though I am finally growing up. I still don’t drive or feel 100% confident using public transport so rely very heavily on my parents for outings, I still live at home, and I know I am not, in some ways as mature or independent as the majority of my age group but I have just joined a pension scheme. But, I feel as though I am now just waiting for my start date and this sense of apathy is clearly reflected in my blogging; or lack thereof it. I have had ideas, but none of these were paired with enough motivation to remain past the turning on of my laptop. It is slowly coming back, and I am hoping to get working on a few new post ideas, which repeatedly come back to me, in the next few weeks.

Have you ever been in a rut, blogging or otherwise? How did you beat it? Let me know in the comments 🙂